"Even we are in the modern world, I still love old stuff, antiques. I find them more dramatic and it seems very pleasing in my eyes. But I've noticed only few do feel the same thing as mine. We have different perspective, things that aren't good for us maybe amiable to others."

Reason why I so love my dream tonight. Oooh! Before I tell about my dream, could you imagine I've been asleep for about 13 hours! I guess I gave my self too much for school. But it's not a waste after all. Weird is, I like it more when I feel the stress and rush by school. ---okay now I'll tell you about my dream.

It was late in the afternoon having a dark milieu damped with continuous strings of rain. My shoes are soaking wet as I walk way back home with an umbrella to conceal me. As I reached home, bright lights where the first thing I've noticed. Lights made by KFC on the right, a resto (unfamiliar) on our left and another bright light coming from our very own resto. Made from thick vintage wood as if we were still in the year 60's I guess. Can you imagine that?! A house at the same time a restaurant! Funny but oh so cool.

Costumer's eyes are on me as I enter, I gave them a smile. Then my mom welcomed me with a face full of worries and said "go and dry your self, you might catch colds". I went to a place where in the wall is out of wood as well as the door, It's very beautiful! Someone opened the door and greeted me. The moment I enter, wooden stairs are in front of me.

Our main house is located above the said resto. I didn't saw the whole place but my room was quite big and it was my ideal room. Having a bed with white curtain, a big mirror, a dresser full of girly stuff, big cabinet with awesome clothes. -----I don't actually get it, things happen very fast in my dream.

I went out again but its still raining. It was father's day and as a gift to my ever loving father I bought him cake. It was big and rectangular in shape, seems like it's a choco vanilla cake. I was accompanied by the worker in the pastry. The moment I gave the cake my dad was so happy and got his eyes teary.---again my dream suddenly switch into another plot.

My friend went in to eat and to see me. As he eat I sit in the table were he was. Having some chitchat. I can't remember our conversation all I know is he gave me something---urgh. can't remember it too..

THEN.... I woke up. Too bad, I wish in the near future we could or I can build the same resto appeared in my dream. But lots of people said that, dreams can never happen. Too bad.

the thought that was never thought to have

In our world today, it’s not easy to trust and to be trusted. For the record, the people you trust are also your so called FRIENDS. But still, not all friends are meant to be trust.

It's a blessing to have friends as well as their trust, it's a responsibility to treasure it. Having this philosophy could lead you into a twist that you won't wish to have. Giving too much treasure will exceed the boundary of friendship.

Having a friend opposite to your gender is totally different to a friend who is same as yours. Just like the one I have who happen to be so close to me, and yes he's a boy. We've been friends for so long, about 5 years i think. Ever since, lots of girls are asking me to introduced them to him. I must admit, yeah he's cute, but I ain't still attracted to him. Because for me he's just a friend.

But still fate is really playful. Lately, he keeps on mentioning about this girl. Which is totally new to me cause he never mention a girl as often as he is doing now. At first it was just nothing to me but as days goes by, I feel a bit weird. Nothing came into SOMETHING. As I visit his link in facebook, his wall are filled with girls comment post, which is not a surprise. But every time I see this girl (the one he keeps on mentioning) posting comments I feel like a little bit jealous. Seems like they are getting closer. I'm not sure if he like the girl or whatever because he don't mention anything. According to him, they were just friends. I hope they were JUST..

I'm afraid for the possible things that might happen. Like, what if they will get even closer than we are? What if he prefer to be with her than to be with me? What if he likes her? Thinking this stuff makes me hurt. Actually, till now I don't understand why all of a sudden I felt this way. It is impossible for him to like me. Because I'm a family to him (he said), from that I'm not hopping. Besides, I don't have any plan to confess. I'll just keep this on my own. I choose to see them together rather than loose our friendship.

He is my very close friend. But now, he's very close to my heart.

.wrong distance.

It was tuesday night,02-02-10, 8:45 pm, I lay in my bed and felt so sleepy and so I did. Time passes by until, 4:14 early in the morning,02-03-10, I woke up. Took a rest and stood up. I went straight to my study area and open books and read my handouts for my exam held on that day. 6:23 am as I check the time and felt hungry. I grab my phone and went out to the kitchen. Our kitchen is located at the back of our house and it is open so I went to my dad work place to turn on the light. I open the door and I tried to touch the edge of the wall with my balance towards my hand. As I was about to touch the wall I thought I'm on the right distance, but I'm not. Good thing there is a big table in front of me and I did switch my balance on the other hand to save my self from falling. I find it weird that time. As I turn on the light. I went to our fridge and took a slice of cake and came back in my study area. I sat to my chair, reading at the same time holding my plate and eating my cake I was about to cut it, eventually my spoon touches the edge of the plate. Again I got shock and felt strange, what was wrong is the distance again. I ain't sleepy at that time neither tired.

are you familiar of the japanese drama ONE LITRE OF TEARS. Isn't the main character named aya, has a disease called spinocerebellar degeneration. One of the signs was, fail to have the right distance of a certain things. I don't want to have this disease but I'm afraid of the things that happens. Sometime I feel like getting weak to the point that my knees are bending on their own. And many more clumsiness (i hope) that happen.

I hope this is just due to being clumsy and wont lead ti the said disease.

“Longinus…. a Saint and Martyr.”

(This way my piece when I join essay writing contest in Marinduque and lucky I won.)
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We tend to be blind for us not to seek for the truth. We tend to be depth for us not hear the unpleasant words. We tend to be muted for us to be safe. Are we great pretenders?

“I am the Lord your God, you shall not have other God’s beside me.” The greatest commandment of God. But subconsciously, we do not follow it by heart. Everyone has its own misery. Others do shed tears until evil had reached their heart to the point they release their hand to the cross. While others who stay on grip and stay strong until they surpass the obstacle they once had. Why it’s so hard for us to believe in Christ? His miracles, His sacrifices, His taught, His words. Aren’t they enough? He died for us, just to be saved. Yet, we still seek for more. Witnesses? Proof? Is that what you need? How will they come to testify if they are already dead? Killed by ruthless and cruel person. Those evil person. Yes evil, the root of all undesirable things. For once can’t we get rid of it and have serenity, in order for us to realize the real purpose of life?

One of the great martyr would be Longinus. His heart was filled with chaos until blood had awaken his blinded eye. From that he was converted into faithful one. Christ guided him. He raised Him up to his darkest down fall. Now, do we need blood? Are we thirsty? Jesus is willing to give His all for us to come with Him. As a catholic and an obeying person. If only I can raise to the crowd and proclaim God’s word I will. In order for the blind people to see the truth. But I believe even in my very own little way I can be a good believer as I can. To serve, love and keep my faith to Him. Is the best way I can do in Him I trust, I surrender my all. I’ll follow the light that gave. He knows better than I do. So friends let’s hold hand, together let us be His witness once again.




http://legion09012008.blogspot.com/2009/07/1st-legions-creative-2009-contest.html

4-26

Am I waiting for a hurricane or a sweet rain? A hurricane were in I'm gonna explode from despair and see me trembling around. A sweet rain were in I can dance freely and jump till I reach the pick of my happiness.

Tomorrow is a big big day. What ever it takes, i know God will guide me through.

Last goodbye.

We we're once paired by destiny. Together we shared our love, we build dreams, held each other hands, gave tight and sweet hugs, we laugh and together we cry. We once hoped for endless love. We exchanged vows. We even planned for our future. Yet, we all fail to make this happen. For one year and four months, we decided to cut our relationship. I know we never thought of this thing to happen. But destiny brought us too. Our heart doesn't fit anymore. I've shed a lot of tears than laughter's. I tried to understand but in the end I still can't understand. We fought many times with just single reason. I tried to be patient but still my heart burst. I knew you love me so much, but there are times that I can't feel it. Slowly my love for you start to fade, till I realize that I wasn't happy anymore. I don't even see the purpose of our relationship. So I put an end and ask for my freedom. I know I cause so much pain in your heart. But things really happen.

Today is exactly one month since you set me free. To be honest I even like it better, because I'm free from heartaches. I finally had move on and learn how to be happy. Let's learn how to accept and live our separate lives.

FATE`

"The sparkles of diamond had turn into ash. The bliss had turn into tears. A precious glass was field with dust. Stars are getting even far. Fields are getting wither."

There are times that I feel like I'm being played by fate. After i laugh then suddenly I'll just see my self trembling with tears. How could this things happen? My dreams are far way different from my reality. Things that I'm not suppose to have or attain are in my hands now. Sometimes I just want to escape and throw them away. But that is too impossible. All i can do now is to face and try to change them.

As I take my removal exams, I feel so down and stupid. At first I find it hard to accept the failing grades that I got. I feel guilty and regrets followed. I even shed a lot of tears, but one day when I woke up I just realize one thing. I SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE no matter how bad the situation is. I took the removal exams because God want me to be awake and start to strive hard. Because He saw how lazy I became. I should thank him for that instead of questioning him.

Well life is really full of surprises. Even the unexpected things happen.

Grades are just numbers, but they mean a lot for students like me. I work for this grade, yet my hardship is not enough to have an excellent grade. Most of the time when I study my lesson I always feel sleepy even if I drink coffee it wont even work. So I sleep. Then I wasn't able to do the thing that I should. The result would be FAILED!

Seeing thing failing grade makes me feel so small. It makes me remind of my father's hardship in working just to earn money to fill our needs. I often see him eating late just to finish his work. He even do extra business just to earn more. At times he sleep late and wake up early and the amazing thing is you wont hear him complaining. There are also time that we don't talk because he has a lot of thing to do. I also see and feel the sacrifices of my mother to do all the house hold chores. Even she feels pain she still continue her work. She even plan to go abroad and work for her to help my dad. Even she earn little money coming from the apartment that she had inherited from her late parents, mostly she spent the money to buy the things we need and want. BUT WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME!!? I knew this thing yet I do nothing but let laziness take it all over!

I know I'm not low average student. I know I could give more. I know my self. I believe in my self. I have dreams and aims. From this time, I would take the risk! I will face everything and give my 100% to have this grades that is worth for my parents sacrifice to give me good education.

I love my parents so much! And if medical technology is not for me, that is suicide! I will do my very best to finish it in the time allotted! I have plans for them. And I will pursue them no matter what!

"LORD HELP ME"

Everything Happen For A Reason

Cellphone is a device that is so handy and useful in our generation today. I think majority of the teens even adults have cellphones. It may use for communication, luxury and lot more.

I have something to share. Last week, my friends and I planed to do an art design for our bulletin board. We decided to meet at Mc Donalds. So hire how it goes...

I woke up at 7am. Because exactly 9 am we should be all there. Just like an ordinary girls do, like taking a bath, fixing herself and dressing up promptly then ready to go. Of course I have my cellphone with me as I go. Then I rode a tricycle and after few minutes, there it goes. As I enter and sit to the place where my friend is I was looking for my cellphone. From my pocket to my bag. I can't find it anywhere. Then I start to worry because I might drop it in the tricycle. Too bad! And I hate it so! But there's nothing I can do but to accept.

No mater what, I still have to do the said activity. We buy materials and went to our friends house. I ask my friend if i can use the phone to call my bf. I tell the story to him just laugh at me. How ironic. And that time we were not good, we are having some miss understanding. As time goes and as soon as we finished our art, I went to SM to meet him up.

He was waiting for an hour. I felt guilty then and say sorry for making him wait. Then ask if how I feel about what happened and took me to the cell shops. He was teasing me because I lost mine. Then after a while he took out his wallet and paid. I was wondering why did he buy yet he still have his phone. I got surprise when he gave me his phone and ask me to take a good care of it and never loose it. I was speechless and can't believe for what he did. Butterflies came around! And wow! I was so flattered and felt lucky.

See how love can do and how true the famous quote "everything happened for a reason". I mentioned that we are having a miss understanding, I think my phone serve as an instrument for us to fix our problem.


=)

DIET?FOREVER?

How come there are people who eat plenty yet do not gain weight? Its just so unfair!! I, myself go on strict diet just to loose weight and it took so long. There are times that I want to take slimming pills, but something is stopping me. There might be side effect if I took pills. But my friends tell me that I ain't fat, how come when I look at the mirror I see chubby body. Is it anorexia? Hope not, but I guess it is.
If you ask me why do I feel so conscious, its just because I think it would be better if I have a good body figure. I always wish for a good figure. Being beautiful is really ain't easy!

Insecurities over Mind

I have this friend who have a beautiful body curvature. I admire her with that. Every time I take a look at her pictures, suddenly a strong feeling of being envy strikes me. I'm trying not to look at her pictures but I can't stop not to. Being sexy is a factor for me. I mean come on get real, who doesn't want?

I know its not right to feel insecure to someone. But there are times that you just can't help not to feel. I have this kind of insecurity where in every time I see her I feel envy or feels like life is not fair! Then start to ask "why do she have this and that......." then eventually I began feel down.

even thought I have this feeling still I don't make any mess just to pull her down. It's just merely aim and inspiration to loose weight.

THIS PAGE IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION.. =]